Lip Service [Private Relations 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) Page 17

  “How was your trip?” she asked.

  “Long. I missed you,” he replied.

  Giving him a halfhearted smile, she said, “Yeah. I missed you too.”

  Reaching over, he took her hand and he said, “Come here.”

  She allowed him to pull her up against him. Once he’d wrapped an arm around her, she settled her head against his chest.

  “I’m sorry about earlier,” he said. “You’re right. I handled that really poorly.”

  Nodding her head against his chest, she said, “You did.”

  Sighing, he continued by saying, “My desire to not define what’s going on between us isn’t a reflection how I feel about you, or us.”

  Moving her head off of his chest, she raised her eyebrow skeptically and said, “I’m going to need a little more information than that, I think. I made a fairly natural assumption and you seemed almost horrified.”

  Chris turned his body now, so they were facing each other on the sofa and rubbed his hand across his face.

  “You already know how things with my parents went. That makes me naturally leery about commitment in general. Things would be perfectly fine between them until they got married, then it was a giant mess. Fighting, screaming, crying.

  “That’s only part of it though. I dated this girl all through high school. Gina. We went off to college together. Same school. We got engaged during junior year, right before all that shit happened with my knee. When I was in the hospital after, she got kind of distant. To make a long story short, I was her meal ticket. Once my knee was blown, she made it abundantly clear I didn’t have shit to offer her. She ended up fucking a couple of the other players on the team after we split.”

  Chloe winced as he described the breakup. What a brutal bitch!

  Going on now, he said, “I don’t want to label things because that’s usually about the time that things turn to shit.”

  “Wow,” she said, “Your parents? That’s a terrible thing to put a kid through. I can see how that would make you gun-shy about marriage. I’m not a huge fan of the institution, either. It’s antiquated and unnecessary.”

  “But,” she continued, “I don’t see how that relates to my being or not being your girlfriend. Or you telling a woman that you were involved with someone.”

  He opened his mouth to speak, so she held up a hand and continued.

  “And that shit with your ex? Is that what you think this is? Me wanting things from you or needing someone to take care of me financially?” she asked, on the verge of some pretty righteous anger.

  “No, no. That’s not it at all. I don’t think that for a second. When all that stuff happened, I lost everything. My career, my fiancée, my pride. I was a fucking mess. You didn’t see the worst of it. No one did. I don’t have any desire to open myself to that kind of loss again. It terrifies me,” he said.

  “I’m sorry. I just don’t want to label it. What we have right now works, and I don’t see any sense in rocking the boat,” he finished.

  “If that’s the way you feel,” Chloe said, “then I can’t really change that. Do you see a future of any kind between us or are you just hanging out with me until you don’t want to anymore?”

  “I’m trying not to look forward. I want to just enjoy the moment with you. Is that so wrong?” he said.

  Running her hands over her face, she said, “I can appreciate your point of view, but I really don’t think I can continue doing this. Whatever this is with you anymore.”

  Tilting his head, he said, “What do you mean?”

  “The whole time you were gone, I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I’d fallen in love with you, and you can’t even admit to being my boyfriend. You don’t want to look toward the future or even explore the idea that there could be something beyond the moment. I can’t help but look to the future and see you in it. I can’t continue to do this, knowing that we want totally different things.”

  She saw a look of pain flash in his eyes, and he said, “Chloe,” and reached for her.

  She scooted back and said, “No. Don’t. It would be too easy for me to just keep doing this with you indefinitely, but I need more. It’d be fine for a while, but I know I’m going to want more. When we started all this I said that I just wanted a guy to hang out with that would fuck me silly. I didn’t know I was going to fall in love with you.”

  Feeling her eyes water now, she waved a hand and said, “Sorry.”

  “Oh, Christ. Please don’t cry,” Chris said, taking her hand in his.

  Snatching her hand back, she said, “Please, Chris. I just…please go. I can’t do this right now.”

  Chloe wiped her hand against her cheek. Seeing the way that he stared at her now, she added, “I’m not doing this as some sort of shitty emotional warfare. I just really need you to leave now.”

  Looking more pained than she had ever seen him, he got up and walked to the door.

  He ran his hand over his face and said, “I’m fucked up. I’m sorry.”

  Then he opened the door and left. She moved to put the chain in place and leaned back against the door. Sliding down to the ground, she sobbed uncontrollably.

  Chapter 24

  Over the next two weeks, Chris moved through his life on autopilot. He’d tried to call Chloe several times, left messages, but she’d yet to return his call. He still had the key to her place, but he figured that would be crossing a line to use it.

  As he reread the same line of the contract he was working on for the fifth time, he heard a knock on his office door. Deacon stuck his head in and asked, “Have you got a minute?”

  Chris had been waiting for this. He was pretty sure Deacon was about to kick his ass. He probably deserved it, too.

  “Yeah, man. What’s up?” he asked, dreading the response.

  Deacon grimaced and said, “Look, I don’t know what happened between you and my sister, but whatever it is, fix it. You’re both a mess. She says whatever it was was her fault and that I’m not supposed to give you shit about it, but enough is enough.”

  “That was nice of her, but it’s pretty much my fault. I’m an idiot. Instead of trying to get over my personal shit, I just basically fucked things up with her.”

  Looking at him expectantly, Deacon asked, “And how do you intend to fix it?”

  “I don’t know if I can, Deak. She wants more than I know how to give. Hell. She won’t even talk to me right now anyway. I’ve been calling her and leaving messages. She’s not returning my calls,” he said.

  Chris laid his forehead against the desk for a second and sighed. Raising his head, he relayed the entire story of their last day together from start to finish.

  Shaking his head in disgust, Deacon said, “You stupid, stupid man.”

  Nodding, he said, “Yeah. Pretty much.”

  “How do you not realize that you’re in love with her, is what I don’t get here,” Deacon said.

  Chris blinked at him.

  “You’re walking around here like you lost your best friend, because you actually did. That’s the major distinction between her being the girl you’re frequently fucking and the girl you’re in love with. Hell, you guys were all but shacked up.”

  Deacon paused as something occurred to him.

  “You weren’t seeing anyone else, were you?” he asked.

  “No! Of course not,” Chris said.

  “Mighty indignant about that question for a man who isn’t involved with someone,” Deacon said.

  “It’s common courtesy to not fuck multiple people. I extend that courtesy to all of my partners,” Chris said.

  “It started out as courtesy, but when you guys continued seeing each other and started fucking vacationing together, it stopped being about courtesy and started being a choice you consciously made. Stop being a pussy and go talk to her,” Deacon said.

  “As much as I appreciate this little pep talk, I really do need to work,” Chris said.

  Shaking his head, Deacon said, “You can f
ix this whole situation by being honest with yourself. You’ve been in love with her for a while now. It’s all over your face any time anybody even speaks her name. Stop fucking around before you lose her for good.”

  Before Chris could say anything, Deacon left his office.

  Setting his forehead on the desk again, he realized that Deacon was right. The pain in his gut every time he thought of her hadn’t eased. If anything, it was more acute. He’d go to her after work. At this point, he wasn’t above begging.

  At 5:00 p.m. on the dot, he was out the door. Heading to his car, he went over what he was going to say in his mind. The traffic on the 101 was moving at a crawl, so that gave him plenty of time to think.

  Deacon had been completely right earlier. He had been a useless mess since the last time they’d seen each other. He’d fucked things up with her royally. He was completely in love with her and he’d been an idiot not to see it. He’d been so concerned with giving her the power to hurt him that he hadn’t realized he was hurting himself. He couldn’t sleep well. He had no appetite anymore. He shook his head, disgusted with himself.

  It was six fifteen by the time he got to Chloe’s place. Her car wasn’t in the parking lot, so he sat on the stairs outside her apartment and waited.

  An hour and fifteen minutes later, she walked up the stairs and turned toward her apartment. Her expression went blank and she quietly said, “Hi.”

  Standing now, he stretched his knee and said, “Hi. Can we talk for a minute, Chloe?”

  Shrugging, she said, “Sure. Come in. I’ve only got a few minutes though. I’ve got a date.”

  He felt a slice of pain deep in his chest at the thought of her possibly dating anyone else. He guessed it must have shown on his face because he saw her face twist for a moment.

  Rubbing her hands over her eyes, she said, “That was stupid and petty of me. I don’t. I’m sorry.”

  He felt a swift rush of relief, but all he said was, “I probably deserve it. Don’t be sorry.”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head. “We said we’d be friends no matter what happened. There’s no excuse for deliberately trying to be mean.”

  She sat down on the couch and gestured for him to do the same.

  “So,” she asked, “What did you want to talk about?”

  He looked at her face now. Her eyes seemed sad. She looked tired, as tired as he felt.

  “I fucked things up horribly,” he said with no preamble. “You told me that you loved me. I freaked out and left. That makes me not only stupid, but a giant coward.”

  Nodding, she agreed, “Yeah. Probably not your best moment.”

  “No,” he agreed. “It wasn’t and I’m sorry for that. You deserve better than that.”

  Nodding again, she said, “Apology accepted. I want us to be able to be friends. It’s going to take a while, though. I’m not ready.”

  Shaking his head, he said, “I’m doing this really badly if you think what I’m doing here is just about being friends again. I told you about my ex and how I didn’t want to open myself up to that kind of loss again. I was an idiot. I walked out the door and did it to myself. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I’m a mess without you.”

  When she started to speak, he said, “Please, let me finish saying it all. It’s not just me feeling guilty for hurting you, though that’s part of it. I still feel like a piece of garbage for making you cry.”

  He saw something flicker over her face, and knew that that was exactly what she’d been about to say. He saw pain in her eyes, but also something that looked suspiciously like hope. Slightly encouraged, he took a deep breath and continued.

  “Chloe, I’m in love with you. I’ve probably been in love with you since before we even started dating. I’ve been blind not to see it. I’ll be anything you want me to be for as long as you’ll let me be. Just give me another chance. Please don’t tell me it’s too late,” he said, feeling that horrible weight settle on his chest again as he waited for her to respond.

  Wiping a stray tear that was trailing down her cheek, she whispered, “It’s not too late. I’ve missed you so much.”

  Seconds later, he pulled her against him and rained kisses against her face.

  When she wrapped her arms around him, he said, “Fuck. I’ve missed you so much. I was so stupid. I’m sorry.”

  “Please don’t do that ever again. I don’t think I could take it,” she whispered against his skin.

  Pressing his mouth against hers, he slid his tongue against her bottom lip, seeking entrance. As she allowed him entrance, she simultaneously crawled onto his lap. He clutched her to him, unable to get her close enough. Their tongues continued to mate until he broke the kiss because he was getting light-headed.

  When they both drew back, panting, he said, “I love you.”

  “I love you too. So much,” she said, squeezing him tightly against her.

  He found her mouth with his again, nipping gently at her lips. He sighed against her lips when he felt her shift in his lap, straddling him now. He moved his lips down her jaw, to press hot openmouthed kisses against her neck.

  When she rolled her hips against him, and tilted her head back giving him full access to the column of her throat, he moaned against her skin. Sliding his hands under the back of her sweater, he said, “I don’t know how I ever thought I’d be able to live without you.”

  “It was awful. I was so lost,” she said, looking at him with a sheen in her eyes.

  “Never again,” he promised, moving his hands to cup her face.

  Nodding, she leaned back and started to unknot his tie.

  He looked up at her now, as she concentrated on the buttons of his shirt, and said, “You’re so beautiful, Chloe. You’re everything.”

  Crawling out of his lap, she stood in front of the couch, pulling him against her. They quickly removed their clothes, their hands shaking with urgency.

  She pressed him back down on to the couch. Moving back into his lap, he adjusted his erection at her opening. When she slid down on to him, they both cried out in relief. As she started to work her hips against his, he slid his hands into her hair, tilting her lips down to meet his.

  She started to rotate her hips slightly as she moved against him, crying out into his mouth. He groaned now, tilting his head back and said, “Fuck. I’m not going to last, baby.”

  Working her hips rapidly against his now, she panted, “Oh god. Me neither.”

  Seconds later he felt her splinter above him, her nails digging into his shoulders as she cried out his name. A moment later, he let go, following her over the edge groaning out her name as he emptied himself inside her.

  She laid her head against his shoulder, panting and pressing kisses against his neck. He turned his head to look at her and smiled, then said, “It’s like coming home.”

  Epilogue

  Six Months Later

  Chloe stood in front of the mirror in Chris’s bathroom applying a coat of lip gloss, when she saw him walk through the door.

  “I’m almost ready. Five more minutes,” she said in response to his somewhat impatient look. She wiped the edge of her mouth, removing the excess gloss.

  Sighing mournfully, Chris said, “No, no. Take your time. I’m just dying of hunger over here.”

  “So where are we going?” she asked. He’d been so secretive this past week. Any time she’d asked him about it, he would just tell her it was a surprise.

  He’d really enjoyed taunting her. She could see the slight mercenary gleam in his eye when he responded, “You’ll see.”

  A moment later he added, “Oh. We have to make a quick stop first.”

  “But I thought you were dying of hunger,” she said, a slight smirk playing across her features.

  Chris narrowed his eyes and said, “Hush, you.”

  Ten minutes later they were in the car, headed back toward her apartment. She looked around, somewhat confused.

  “We’re heading toward my place?” she asked.

>   “Be lucky I didn’t blindfold you, woman. I’m not answering any questions.” he said, concentrating on the road even though she could see his lips twitching.

  Thinking about the last time she’d been blindfolded, she reached out and stroked her hand up his thigh, grazing his cock lightly and said, “But baby, you know how much I like blindfolds.”

  Groaning, he said, “Don’t make me pull over to the side of the freeway and fuck you senseless.”

  “Oh no,” she said in mock dismay. “Please don’t fuck me senseless. That would be terrible.”

  “If only we didn’t have somewhere to be,” he said. “I’m half tempted to pull over anyway.”

  Chloe sighed and said, “Fine, fine. I’ll stop. I just want to know where we’re going.”

  “Lucky for you,” he said, pulling off the freeway with an indulgent smile, “We’re almost there.”

  A few short minutes later, they turned into a residential area in Melrose. She looked at him curiously now, wondering what they were doing here. She didn’t bother to ask. He was so ridiculously stubborn when he wanted to be. He’d been lording this secret over her for the better part of a week.

  When he pulled into a driveway and turned off the car, he said, “Come with me.”

  She said, “Where are we?”

  As they walked up the front steps of the house, she saw the realtor’s key box on the front porch and started to get an idea about what was going on. Still, she didn’t say anything. She continued to look at him, waiting for him to speak.

  He pressed a code on the box and retrieved a key. She stood there numbly as he unlocked the door. When he walked inside, he turned around and grabbed her hand, tugging her inside.

  Taking her from room to room, he showed her some of the features. It was slightly smaller than his current house, but laid out more efficiently. It had five bedrooms, three baths, a pool, and, thankfully, a whirlpool tub in the master bathroom.

  “So,” he said, once they had completed the tour. “What do you think?”